ven0moth:

if you rip my headphones out of my ears ill rip your heart out of your chest

antifrick:

when i say ‘the other day’ it could mean anything from last week to 6 years ago

inter-webs:

*sigh* why am i better than everyone

oreoofficial:

ahh yes 2014. the 2014th year. 2k14. 2014 years since year 0. the big 2014. the year of 2014. two thousand and fourteen. the ol 20 14

abbygubler:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

the fuck kind of romeo and juliet is this 

bombing:

cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call

mspgay:

there are so many colors that start with b

  • black
  • brown
  • blue
  • bronze
  • byellow
  • bpurple
  • bread

unfollower:

a fairy tale where the princess stuck in the tower has nothing better to do so she just works out all the time and gets ripped and kills the dragon herself